Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
