You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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