tell your sister to shave her snatch
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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