There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
