Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
