TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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