If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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