I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
