He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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