this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize