well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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