3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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