someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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