Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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