I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
