oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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