why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize