don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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