If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize