He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
They left me at home... I'm a liability
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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