I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
