you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
