You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
