Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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