Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
