he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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