No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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