a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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