Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize
