I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
