You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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