i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
