Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
