i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
