who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
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She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
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I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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