problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Four minutes until I can fart!
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize