we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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