So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
