the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm always down for nudity.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
