She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
