He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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