i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
