3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
