It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
