I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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