My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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