I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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