I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
