you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
