He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize