I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
