I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.