I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
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Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
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someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.