Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize