Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
