i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
