what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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