I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
