Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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