I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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