so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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