I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
