yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
