One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
