My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
