My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
