Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
