My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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